Monday, June 28, 2010


Has it really already been a little over 7 weeks since Asa made his grand appearence? Time sure does fly. Asa is such a good baby. He hardly ever cries, he would sleep all night long IF I WOULD LET HIM!!! He is just  so wonderful. BUT let me tell you. Having a baby, after the loss of a baby is HARD, mentally. I have a hard time sleeping at night, because I constantly wake up to make sure he is still breathing, especially since he has breathing problems. I constantly worry that something is going to happen to him. I cry A LOT. Through each milestone, I think "I should have been able to do this with my Seth too". It is just HARD, but is SOOOOOO worth it. I love ALL of my babies soooo much. And even tho I don't get much sleep (because of me), I still ENJOY the midnight feedings, the 2 a.m. feedings. I love waking up at night to feed him. It makes me so happy that I am ABLE to do it, because I wasn't able to with Seth. I remember after I had Seth, and went home, I would awake in the night and just cry, because I should have been waking up to a newborn, not waking up to empty arms. I miss Seth sooo much, and how I wish he was still here with us, to enjoy HIS little brother... Emma just loves Asa, and talks about Seth all of the time. It makes me so happy that she still remembers him! I guess it helps that we talk about him all of the time to her! My life is CRAZY, but it is MY life and I LOVE IT!!!



  1. I think I might be the same way too. Actually I know it. I'm always gonna be wondering if she's still breathing and still alive. I was a little that way with Kyndra but I imagine it's gonna be a lot more this time!! And I picture I'll see Lainey and think of Carleigh and what she would have been like.

  2. Glad things are going good. So hard to believe 7 wks have passed by already.